Awards Part II (no ‘poke in the eye’ this time)

Some of you may recall an earlier column (also a chapter in “Go With The Flow”) titled Awards. So just to recap… Over 20 years ago the S.A.Tourism /Awards, organised and judged by the Tourist Bureau, introduced a new category—“Adventure Travel”. Knowing what I do, and who any likely competition was in the country (every business knows that)— I thought, “I can win this” and maybe the national one as well. It would be good for business. So against the advice of my late wife Patti, and mates such as the late Bill Oliver, I commenced the laborious process of putting my business forward. A lot of work.

On the big black tie occasion (I knocked the dust and fleas out of my late father’s old dinner suit) and Patti and I with a party of mates attended the gala event. We sunk into soft seats, imbibed hard liquor and some of the best reds S.A. had to offer, as the various categories were announced. First the runner-up and then the winner, who threaded his/her way through the maze of tables to the stage where they collected their ‘gong’!

When ‘Adventure Travel” was announced I ran my short acceptance speech through my head, (the same head that an early school teacher had described as containing the brains of the average marino) preparing to go and collect. The Runner-up was announced, an operation which took people by boat, onto the dubious waters of the Port River, searching for dolphins. Fair enough I thought, it would have been an ‘adventure’ if they were run down by a Panamanian registered tanker, or the like. Then… “the winner is…… — who took passengers in a mini bus across the ‘wilds of the Eyre Highway’ between Adelaide and Perth. I subsided back into my soft seat, aware of the disappointed looks on the faces of my mates. I was grateful that I had consumed considerable amounts of quality red wine.  I had just received the biggest poke in the eye of my fortunate life. There was an excellent band, good tucker and company, so the night was enjoyed. I like to dance and at one stage, crossing the dance floor I ran into an old school mate, who was the current Minister for Conservation. Knowing my record of criticising the S.A.T.B. and understanding my operation, he said he was surprised I had bothered to enter.

Back to the present.

Understandably, I had become somewhat cynical of awards ever since, but certainly not begrudging those who deserved to win them. The winners are often referred to as the ‘cream of the crop’, but as in war-time, for every VC Winner, there are numerous others who have done as much, or more, but never recognised.

Some weeks ago, a good mate of mine contacted me to say that he and another good friend had nominated me for an award this year. It was OUTSTANDING CONTRIBUTION BY AN INDIVIDUAL. Initially I said “No Way”’ but with some gentle persuasion I said I would, thinking at the time that it would seem by some as hypocritical. Claire questioned whether I was prepared to risk having another poke in the eye, but I have a good mate with only one eye, and he operates exceptionally well! Half a dozen people who know me well, warts and all, sent in generous accolades, including Luke Talbot-Male and Jo Fort, who nominated me. I learnt that the judges for this particular award were not connected to the S.A.T.B., otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered.

So this time, after purchasing a suit constructed in China, Claire (dressed in her usual immaculate fashion, in gear Not made in China) arrived at the Convention Centre. On our way in I recognised the pot plant container that Bill Oliver had aimed a kick at, as we had departed this venue 20 years earlier, in sympathy to my ‘poke in the eye’. I wondered if this might be a case of de ja vue, but quite honestly, was more curious than caring as to tonight’s results. Sitting with Luke in a massive forest of round tables, we witnessed the various winners go up and collect their gongs, no doubt all well deserved. As the night progress and the grog flowed, so did the crowd noise and inattention to the allowable 30 second acceptance speeches. Outstanding Contribution by an Outstanding Individual was called last and the winner happened to be this ‘happy little vegemite’… Whoop ti do! Hard to remember my exact emotions, because as I made my way through the forest of flushed faces, I was contemplating what I was going to say… and it was going to be a bloody sight longer than 30 seconds! It will be available on my web site, if anyone is interested. I started off by saying “I know that you are all as pissed as a mob of parakeets”, which somehow had the effect of quietening the massive space— so away I went, covering subjects as my earlier ‘poke in the eye’. I was very much aware of the politicians in the audience, so I mentioned freedoms lost, the nanny state that we are living in and the excesses of Occupational Health & Safety. Anyway, 7 1/2 minutes later, I headed back to my table, receiving many congratulations and handshakes, not I suspect, so much for the award, but for the home truths I spelt out.

Several months later there was a Reception at Government House which was an interesting evening of “froth and bubble”.

(P.s. Rex was awarded for an    Outstanding Contribution as an Individual   … Claire